Sunday, June 10, 2012

Saran Wrap? Monkey? Same thing...

Lately my son has been super clingy. I don't mean constantly being around or talking to me or just plain being underfoot. I mean clingy.... As in he crawls into bed with us in the morning and wraps himself around me like he's an octopus. He has to always be touching me. Today in church he kept grabbing at and moving my arm to situate it exactly how he wanted to be hugged. He will also literally hang off my neck like a monkey and sit nose to nose with me, often rubbing his cheek on mine. We are talking constant, continuous contact.  Like if he isn't touching me, I may just vanish into thin air.

It drives me nuts. Anyone who wants to believe the stereotype of how Autistics don't know how to be or can't be affectionate need to spend only 5 minutes peeking into my world with my son to have that completely blown out of the water for them. I have met many on the spectrum. I have yet to see one who does not show any affection in some way. They show it, but the average person may not see it. It could be they show it in a non-traditional way. Those who are non- or semi-verbal often do.

As much as I love his ability to show me how much he loves me and his desire to tell me how much (often), I can't wait for this phase to pass.  I'm ok with the couple times a day hugs and "I love yous" but this stuff is extreme right now!  Just imagine walking around or trying to move but you can't because someone is constantly holding one of your hands/arms back and won't let go or is hugging you and won't get off of you and you can't move much.  That's what it's like.  I may as well have my hands tied behind my back.

The older he gets the harder it gets.  He just doesn't fit in my lap anymore.  When he was small it was fairly easy to just pick him up and continue with whatever it is I needed to do.  At this point he's a 4 1/2 foot, 70lbs child.  The option just isn't there anymore.  Then again, while I may not be able to move or do anything, it sure is nice to have him try and curl up in my lap!  It wards off the day when he becomes "too cool for mom" right? Right?  :)

Autistics aren't affectionate or loving.... Pah!

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